BCS- Bush Cheney series?

Bush-Cheney Series

Heads up Berkeley Radicals

Officially the term BCS stands for Bowl Championship Series.  It’s the ratings system that determines what college football teams get to play in the top bowls, and in theory, determines what team is tops in the nation.

But given the recent turn of BCS events resulting in

Berkeley

getting bounced from the Rose Bowl, questions are emerging as to what it really stands for.

Sources tell Rockthrower (o.k. so we are making this one up) that what it really stands for is the Bush-Cheney Series.  According to several coaches named Bubba, there was no way the Neocons in the Bush machine were going to stand by and let a bunch of liberals from Berkeley play in the big game while their good ol boy Texas Longhorns languished in some second rate bowl.

“Hellfire”, said one

Texas

football booster, “I bet some of them

Berkeley

players are even married to each other out there, being in

California

and all.   I hear they don’t even drink Budweiser, just that imported beer.”

Bush and Cheney are alleged to have placed several calls to top coaches voting in the BCS, pressuring them to change their votes and lower

Berkeley

in the BCS rankings.  When coaches resisted they were shown articles by conservative think tanks alleging that the coaches were communists, which would be leaked to sportwriters across the nation.

Just in case that didn’t work, sources say that Bush-Cheney had contracted with Swift Boat Veterans for Justice to develop an advertising campaign smearing

Berkeley

coach Tedford.  The ad’s apparently allege that Tedford reads books and believes in science.  Sources say that Tedford is not a Born Again Christian.

Under pressure the coaches caved, and

Berkeley

lost out on its first Rose Bowl appearance in 49 years.

“If those liberals out there in

California

think we’re going to let them play in the big time they got another thing coming, said a highly placed and completely made up White House source.  Even if they were eleven and one and looked like the best team in the nation, football is a real man’s game played by teams in Red States.

Responding to criticism that they had cheated and stolen the Rose Bowl from Berkeley, a Bush spokesman said, do you really think we care?  We stole an election, you think we’re going to hesitate to act on something really important, like a football game?