“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
Hunter S. Thompson.
My guess is that the late Hunter S. Thompson would have loved the current Democratic primary. I mean, when did we ever have a political race so strange that the Ku Klux Klan endorsed a black candidate for president, because, as much as they hate black people, they hate the other candidate even more? Thompson probably would have covered the Ohio primary from Klan headquarters in Marion, Ohio.
Thompson loved the political horse race, once writing about politics and journalism as “worse for you than heroin, and twice as hard to quit.” So as this strange Democratic primary, with two candidates running neck and neck, seesaws to an unpredictable and possibly explosive finish, the RockThrower blog is offering an absurd but effective plan for resolving the battle between Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama for the Democratic nomination. We’re calling it the Hunter S. Thompson Memorial Coin Toss Solution. Thompson, a lifelong handicapper of politics surely would approve.
Here is how it would work. Following the Pennsylvania Primary, should there be a difference of less than 200 delegates separating Clinton and Obama in their quest for the nomination, the candidates would agree to participate in a coin toss to determine the outcome of the race. The winner of the coin toss would be the candidate for President, the loser would agree to serve as Vice President. It could be on national TV. Maybe Al Gore could flip the coin.
I know, I know, its ridiculous. It’s trivial. It’s absurd. But it also might be the best way to resolve this mess. Think about it for a minute. First, what could be fairer – a coin toss gives both parties an equal chance to win. And its not like we are talking about a difference between Barak Obama and lets say some Republican nutcase like, oh, President Bush. Obama and Clinton are very similar in their approach to policy and both are well liked by Democratic voters, with several polls showing that each would be acceptable to the others supporters should they win the nomination. It would also ensure that Clinton and Obama team up to run against John McCain, a combination that many Democrats describe at their “dream ticket.” The “Coin Toss” can also help avoid a bruising battle within the Democratic party that may leave one side feeling “ripped off” and result in major voting blocks sitting out the election.
A coin toss solution is not without precedent. A dead woman won re-election to a school board in rural Alaska after her opponent lost a coin flip meant to break an electoral tie. In 2006, the Democratic Primary race for Congressional District 37 in Alaska between incumbent Representative Carl Moses and challenger Bryce Edgmon was settled by a coin toss. And in Illinois, citing state law requiring the state election board to break ties by lottery, Judge Francis Barth specifically ordered that the contest be decided ''by lot'' in a race for the Illinois state legislature. And a coin toss is considered legal under the election laws of many states.
Even in the current presidential race, a coin toss has already been a deciding factor in a state primary. According to the Austin American Statesman, Obama supporter, Courtney Enriquez said the Texas caucus she attended was split exactly between Clinton and Obama, but the precinct had 27 delegates. So after consulting the campaigns and the Texas Democratic Party, caucus leaders tossed a coin and Obama won, giving him 14 of the precinct’s delegates to Clinton’s 13. If it was good enough for Obama in Texas, it ought to be good enough for him in deciding the Democratic nomination.
In a normal election year I’d say that a coin toss was ridiculous, but this is anything but a normal year. This is a year so weird that extraordinary measures are required. And as Thompson would say, “when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” Support the coin toss resolution!